Going Inside

She says nothing.

Every morning her mother dresses her,  because the alternative is not to touch her, ever, and her mother even talks to her, although she never says a word in reply.

Everyday her mother walks her across the room, and sits her in a chair, puts on the music she liked best before it happened.

Nothing changes.

And somehwere in the back of her head… she can hear herself screaming.

Somewhere in the back of her head he is still on top of her, pressing down on her face so she can’t breathe (and she’s thinking about all the things she’s never been and deciding coldly that it would just be smarter right now to be crazy or to be nothing, life and life only) and after that it all got too hard to hold onto.

Is not talking. Does not know where she is. GET OFF, she wanted to say, GET OFF ME, but his hand was over her face and banging her forehead so hard against the wall and that was when she realized it was easier to slip inside.

She’s still inside.

What she wants to know is this.

Why are so many people inside with her?

~ by grassrooted on July 23, 2010.