Gnarled Ugly Roots & Rafa’s Tight Underpants

Sunday morning. Church day. Somewhere in Wimbledon Rafa is on his knees thanking his God for last night. It took him until the 8th game in final set to finally turn things around. For over three hours his hand kept travelling to his muscled buttocks to pull at his tight underpants. At least once every three minutes.  Wear boxers next game Rafa. They’re more comfortable. South Koreans are in churches too. Their God has to answer for the loss at the world cup. Even Korean made Samsung and LG televisions betrayed them.  

Elsewhere Roman Catholic priests are still asking ‘Holy Father what do we do?‘ as they struggle with scandal after scandal. In Belgium a police raid just two days ago has the Vatican upset. How dare they?!? Is nothing sacrosanct?!?  No, not if young boys and girls are being abused. Not even crypts of dead holy men.

Our recent discussions around patriarchy on grassrooted including Travis A Blackman’s poem has had me reflecting on the role of institutionalised religion, and especially the Judeo-Christian model. While the Roman Catholic priesthood stumbles over literal interpretations of biblical texts, especially Pauline epistles supposedly  advocating celibacy, and thereby falling prey to pretty and not-so-pretty choir boys, the Anglican communion currently has its own struggle. Women. Specifically, women Bishops.

Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, that erudite, mad-eyebrowed, conciliatory patriarch of the Anglican Communion dances at the centre of it like a sad performing monkey chained to his austere master, trying to please the couldn’t-care-less crowd. Except that amongst the I-don’t-give-fuck-about-the-church masses there are a significant number who do care. Care very deeply. Care deeply enough that they are willing to cross over and join the celibate Roman Catholics. This has happened before. When the Anglican Church first ordained women, those who could not stomach the consecrated bread and wine from a woman, or listen to them ‘preach’ defected to Rome with everything reminiscent of cold war cloak and dagger theatrics. 

The vatican was kind to the defectors then, and will be so again. If you’re married already, come anyway, we will make room for you and not treat you as the 2nd class citizens of God that you are. You have seen the light. Women priests were bad enough! But now women Bishops! How dare they contradict the word of our Man-God. Yes, God the Father! Not mother! Have you not seen his magnificent grey beard and Nietzschean mustache that flow down from the clouds?  

1 Corinthians 14 is the most overused shallowly interpreted defence of Pauline misogynists. They repeat it more often than a penitent prostitute does Hail Marys.   

 “³⁴Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. ³⁵And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.”

The gnarled ugly roots of patriarchy surface easily, and we don’t even have to go as deep as Eve and the serpent having a chat in Genesis. Paul does that for us. And counter claims of shallow interpretation by those who don’t believe in literal interpretations but still value the word of God (he was only speaking about the women in Corinth!) cannot redeem Paul from his misogynistic trip. He still baffles those new testament scholars that search for the human. Christ clearly enjoyed women,  if the gospels are to be believed. And I don’t mean the gospel according to Kazantzakis. What happened to you Paul? Paul… why didn’t you like women to dress up in fancy clothes? Did you have a negative experience with women’s finery as a young boy?

  1 Timothy 2: ⁸I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.   ⁹In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;¹⁰But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.¹¹Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.¹²But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.¹³For Adam was first formed, then Eve.¹⁴And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.¹⁵Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

What we can do to help cut down this tree that has its roots so deep? So deep that honour killings are not rooted in Islam but the Judeo-Christian model. The Jews and the Christians were killing their fallen women for centuries before Gabriel met Mohammed on a dark and stormy night. Ever heard of the Magdala and how she came to join Christ’s team? She was about to get stoned when he drew a line in the sand and saved her.

So, what can we do? 

First, we have to go beyond a woolly Anglican approach that sits painfully impaled on a  fence – “The Church of England officially believes that women may be priests and bishops; unfortunately it also believes that they may not be. This is a position too subtle for the general public to understand, and increasingly one too subtle for the Church itself.”     

Then, we have to continue to challenge models of God and Faith and ensuing Culture as women and men have been doing for decades now… over a century even.  We can’t sit back and be spectators of what is definitely not sport. Rafa pulling his pants out his arse every three minutes maybe entertainment for some, but we need to pull our heads out of our arses.

A revaluation of our values is no more unnatural than married priests (i.e. those who actually have sex! Give in to the urge!) being welcomed with open arms by the Vatican. If they can be open to change, why can’t we be open to women being all they want to be in today’s mad ever-mutating world.

~ by grassrooted on June 27, 2010.